My Little Secret

28 Aug

Dear friend,

Today, I have no adventurous outings to share with you or any updates on my latest cooking experiments. I do, however, want to share a little secret with you: I’m probably the world’s biggest klutz.

Gather ’round, and let me tell you a story about my inability to not make a complete fool out of myself at the worst times.

Picture yourself in college. Picture a busy cafeteria during lunchtime, at the beginning of the semester. All the upperclassmen are feeling smug because they’ve got their lives together – a.k.a., they have their little posses to sit with and talk smack about teachers and campus police and stuff. All the freshmen are are feeling scared out of their mind – they don’t recognize a face in the entire room, and they feel like the smallest and most pathetic creatures in existence. I was that freshman, in that cafeteria, in that busy hour. And I found the best way to get people – upperclassmen –  to remember you is by making a complete and utter loon of yourself.

I walked toward the drink station to get a simple cup of water, when it happened. I had a feeling that morning that wearing those pathetic sandals with no grip on the bottom was probably a bad idea, and my fears came true when I stepped in a pool of some kind of liquid substance – I wasn’t exactly paying attention what that substance was. My feet went up, my butt went down, and the entire football team thought it was pretty darn hilarious. Did they ask if I had broken bones? Oh, no. Explosive laughter hardly covers it. In fact, I had several people over the next several days approach me to ask if I was that chick in the cafeteria who slipped and fell.

But this was years ago – I was a gangly freshman. It seems within the past few years, I would have gained some composure. Maybe a little balance.

No. Not really.

In fact, an (almost!) disastrous event occurred yesterday. I decided I would wear some heels – only God knows why. If you know me at all, you know I don’t need help from a heel to make me tall, which means I don’t wear them very often. I grew up really self-conscious about my height, and so wearing shoes that made me even taller was never something I pursued. But, back to yesterday – I wore these cute heels, but by noon my feet were simply devastated. I was walking across campus during lunch time (I’m beginning to think there is some connection between lunch and my klutziness), and it seemed that every student had either gotten out of class or was on his or her way to the cafeteria. Just about the time when I’m in clear view of the cafeteria windows – they cover the entire side of the building – my ankles give out, or I stepped on a crack in the sidewalk, or an invisible person pushed me. Regardless, I did this awkward lurch-forward-ankle-twisting-“I look like an idiot” deal. Thankfully, the people walking around me tried not to notice or laugh, and I continued on my merry way – simply thankful I actually stayed on my feet this time.

These are but two of my misadventures. I simply cannot skate without crashing and burning several times, which normally means I go ahead and fall at the beginning just to get it over with. My hand-eye coordination is notable, only in the sense it’s notably horrible. Today in my Badminton class, I was the last person to be able to keep the birdie in the air for twenty bounces. And when I mean last, I mean that just about everyone else was about five steps ahead of me in practice.

I say all this not to complain about my silly life or my lack of coolness. In a weird way, I was just sort of reminded today how much I enjoy not being cool, and how much I love watching and talking to other people who also have decided that its OK just being a weirdo. For instance, I was walking to my truck today, and this girl starts belting out a song. She – er – didn’t appear to be part of the choir, if you know what I mean. But I was totally digging it. She didn’t care she wasn’t Celine Dion – she was happy, and she was willing to act a little silly and sing a funny song.

I love overhearing people having in-depth conversations about how much they’re psyched to see The Hobbit this December. I love when people take a chance to wear a daring new style that no one else is willing to try – I mean, if you wear anything beyond Chocos on campus, you’re making a fashion statement.

In essence, I’ll probably always be a klutz. And I’ll probably never be able to wear heels without tripping over everything. But life…it goes on.

So, my challenge to you (and to me!)  is to be comfortable enough with your weird self to be able to shout out silly songs in parking lots. Especially when there are cool people around.

Until next time,



2 Responses to “My Little Secret”

  1. Dana Hodge August 28, 2012 at 11:35 pm #

    I can just see you busting your booty sweet sissy!! Love you and so sad I was not there to see this epic moment! Just joking :-) Be careful out there and stay with the flats.

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